Adulthood can be like living a never-ending game of pretending to have it altogether. You are not alone if you’re navigating the messiness of life while appearing to have your act together. In this tongue-in-cheek guide, we explore how to fake being a grown-up when, deep down, you’re still figuring out how taxes work and wondering if it’s normal to wear sweatpants all day. From mastering the art of color-coded calendars to faking financial expertise, this article will let you in on some remarkably useful and funny tips about how to pretend everything is all right. Whether it’s pretending to have an impeccable social life, “meal-prepping” like a pro, or curating a home in such a way that it gives the illusion of tidiness, we’ve got you covered with all the tricks of the trade. Learn to throw on the biggest coat possible and call it a “look”; learn to send slightly awkward money questions into deflection with the vague yet assertive response; and most importantly, stay stylish, even if you never actually leave your pajamas. Spoiler alert: nobody’s got it all figured out, but just enough confidence, mixed in with the right amount of strategic faking, will surely get you looking like you do. So if you are tired of pretending to be an expert on everything from finances to fitness, this post will make you laugh — and perhaps actually make you fake your way to feeling like a grown-up.
How to Pretend You’re a Grown-Up When You’re Actually a Mess
Ah, adulthood. That magical time when everything’s supposed to be so neat. You know, like your finances, your kitchen’s always clean, and you know what that 401(k) is all about. But reality comes knocking—and it hardly resembles the boards on Pinterest or the influencers on Instagram touted. Truth be told? You are probably winging it just like everyone else, concealing behind a well-planned calendar and a daily smiler with that “got it all together” grin.
But that is the thing-the world expects us to be grown-ups, and sometimes, pretending is all we can do. Whether it’s pretending you know how taxes work or acting like you’re not having a full-blown panic attack inside about your student loan debt, the art of “faking it till you make it” is essential. So, if you’ve ever wondered how to look like you’ve got your life together when in reality, you’ve forgotten to do laundry for three weeks, here’s your ultimate guide on how to pretend you’re a grown-up when, deep down, you’re a total mess.
1. Master the Art of The “Casual, Confident” Calendar
Know that no one in reality has a personal assistant or the time to plan out the whole week. But you can at least pretend.
A key prop in pretending to be fully formed is to have a calendar that yells “I’m organized and got my life together!” even though you literally have no idea what you’re doing half the time. Start by color-coding everything: meetings are blue, gym sessions are green, and of course, “Important Life Admin Stuff” in neon pink so you can really feel like you’ve got a handle on things when you’ve marked off “buy toothpaste” or “call mom.”.
But here’s the catch: half of the things you’ve written down might be vague goals (i.e., “figure out health insurance” or “become a morning person”)—tasks that are technically doable but are pushed to the next week over and over again because you’d rather watch another episode of The Office instead of dealing with them. Still, the calendar looks impressive, and that’s all that matters when you’re pretending to have your life in order.
2. Fake It ‘Til You Buy the Right Things
A grown-up’s home is supposed to be some sort of zen, where everything has a place, and nothing is cluttered. But when you’re actually living in an apartment that doubles as your laundry drying rack, and your fridge looks more like a college student’s, the key is just to pretend it’s organized and functional.
Invest in a few key items to give the illusion of adulthood. Buy a fancy coffee maker, but make sure it’s just for show because, let’s be honest, you’re still brewing instant coffee and pouring it into a mug that says “Best Dog Mom” on it. Some cute little plants in your living room and watch them slowly die because you really have no idea how to take care of it. Don’t worry, the plants will make great Instagram props, and no one will ever notice when you “forget” to water them for a few weeks.
The key here is to present a look of mature polish. The more curated your space looks on social media, the less actual injustices in life will be observed-the laundry has been sitting in a basket for three weeks, and you can’t even remember vacuuming in a lifetime.
3. Posturing confidence with finances (but keep the panic to yourself)
Adulthood brings with it the unspoken assumption that, by a certain age, you will have your finances together. You should know your credit score, contribute to your retirement fund, and be able to define what “financial independence” means. In theory, however, you may still be trying to work out how to stop spending all your money on avocado toast and online shopping
So how do you pretend to be a financial expert? Start by mentioning words like “budgeting” and “saving for the future” as if you actually have spreadsheets for both of them (hint: you don’t). The key is to memorize some buzzwords – like “emergency fund” or “diversification” – and sprinkle them into casual conversations. This will make you sound smart, financially secure, when in fact, you’ve got exactly $7.32 in your checking account and have no earthly idea what an index fund is.
If you are completely in disarray, learn how to avoid talking about money. If someone asks you how much you’ve repaid in your student loan or when exactly was the last time you checked your credit score, just speak about “working on it” or “transition.” Everybody will nod wisely, thinking you’re good to go while in reality you might just be a late payment away from defaulting on your credit card.
4. Become a “Meal Prep” Pro (Or At Least Fake It)
Ah, meal prepping: the holy grail for health, organization, and productivity for a grown-up. It’s an excellent way to demonstrate that you are organized, but more importantly, that you know how to prepare nutritious meals each week.
Here’s how to fake it like a pro: spend an afternoon in the kitchen making a batch of quinoa, roasted vegetables, and some kind of protein. Portion it out into neat containers, take a photo of your “meal prep,” and post it on Instagram with hashtags like #adulting or #mealprepgoals. And three nights in a row you might end up eating a microwaved burrito, but the pictures will say otherwise.
When someone asks you how meal prep is going, you can say something like, “Oh, I keep it pretty basic,” or “I’ve been playing with new recipes!” And if you can mention some cool-sounding trendy recipe, like zucchini noodles with avocado pesto, no one is going to notice that sad mess of takeout containers peeking out of your trash can.
5. Keep Your Wardrobe Classic (And Definitely Not Just Pajamas)
Dressing like an adult is one of the keys that guarantees dressing. You don’t need to wear a suit to the grocery store, but you should have a couple of great basics in your wardrobe which can give an illusion of sophistication. Think dark jeans, a perfect-fitting blazer, and neutral-colored shoes. You want people to believe you’re the sort of person who just throws on whatever and still looks like you deserve a seat at a business meeting-even though your wardrobe is more or less comprised entirely of leggings, oversized sweaters, and ratty band tees.
The key is to always have a couple of “decent” pieces circulating. Throw on some jacket to leave (even if you’re going to the corner store), and make sure you look like you’re trying. And if you spent the day living in sweatpants? No big deal! Just throw on an oversized coat and wear shades (indoor wear is optional, but always adds some fabulous flava to the mix).
6. Fake a Social Life (Without Actually Having One)
Being an adult means having that busy social life of brunches, happy hours, and spontaneous weekend getaways. Of course, if you are a strict “Netflix and chill” individual, then you can achieve this aspect without actually throwing yourself into it.
Start with posting pictures of all the cool things you’ve been doing—hiking, group dinners, or even just a cute coffee date with friends. Then, always have a vague but good response when people ask how your weekend was. “Oh, I was out at that super cool place in the city with a bunch of friends!” Of course that “super cool place” is likely your couch, and “a bunch of friends” is probably your dog, but nobody’s keeping track, right?
If you do go out, post a picture or two to make it look like you are living your best life. It doesn’t matter that the pictures are from a few months ago. If it appears you have been keeping busy and thriving, no one will question it.
7. Be “Busy” (Even If You’re Not)
One of the biggest tells that you are not an adult, really? Saying you are “free.” Adults are never free. So, even if you just binged an entire season of some show you thought was stupid, always tell someone that you are busy. When someone asks you to get coffee, just say, “Ugh, I would love to, but I’m buried in work right now!” or “I have a mountain of errands to run!
The scam is that you’re always juggling million things for responsibilities when, in fact, you are just wasting time over your laundry. Busy = successful = adult. So if you can hone the skills of sounding like you are busy enough, no one will ever question what you’re actually getting done.
Conclusion: The Art of Pretending
Being grown-up is all about striking that delicate balance between responsibilities and a healthy dose of pretending. Nobody, nobody, has any idea what they’re doing. Let’s be honest, we all still Google “how to adult.” The art of pretending to be a grown-up certainly involves having the confidence, style, and ability to act like you know what you’re doing-even when you clearly don’t.
So go ahead, slip on that fancy blazer, colour-code your calendar, and take those “meal prep” pictures. You may not know everything in your life, but you’ll at least look like you do. And isn’t that half the battle?
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